It amazes me how you're so easily able to move on with your life, like nothing's happened.Being able to smile and just laugh like you're not even bothered, not the least bit.You say you care, but how much do you actually think and remember what has happened? Only when your messaging me? when ur with me? And the rest you seem perfectly fine. I don't think there'll ever come a day when you'll regret. It's like you've completely forgotten about us being best friends, It;s like that didnt mean anything, didnt mean enough to even want to be best friends. Like everything that happened was a mistake, and that if u could back in time, you and i would not be best friends again. Cause im just what, a Horrible and Demanding Jerk? A guy who is obsessed? I wonder how u just got over it so easily. I wish i could do the same. Do u see the guy who really wants to be close again? who loves u with all his heart, and just wants you to be happy. I care so much and yet to you all u want is us being ordinary friends. And nothing more. Is it cause before u had lesser friends? Not so close to the people in church? And now you're popular and all of a sudden the roles have been reversed. You like the attention u get, so theres no need for me anymore. You've got friends in school, so i suddenly dont exist. How can u just be so unaffected, just be as if nothings wrong, be amazingly happy, when deep down im in so much pain, so much thought and so much conflict. Thinking always how to get u back, how we can improve our relationship, but now cause u dont need me, u dont want us to have a better relationship. Is it really cause ur tired of trying? Or just cause u dont see a need for me in ur life anymore? IM just another burden to you i guess? Someone else u need to say sweet nothings to so u can satisfy, someone u need to do the least bit to prove ur a friend, So u can be blameless as a friend, after all to you thats all friends do right? Im nothing more, nothing more then the least bit u need to do. Like a little troublesome broken record u just maintain with the least enthusiasm, and passion just enough to meet ur standards and nothing more, so u can have a good nights sleep without a guilty conscience. After all to you thats what friends do. IT amazes me how much things have changed. From who u were and what u did, to who u are and what ur doing. Its like u used me, and when u dont need me anymore, u throw me away. Just do enough to be just friends, no need for more, after all i've got nothin else to offer. So did u ever love me? I cry as i post this, cause of how hurt im feeling knowing i really mean nothing else then the least bit. The just average. And that u can just forget us being best friends, forget every happy memory and just throw it all away caue u dont need me anymore. Does the past really not mean anything to the present or the future? U chose to throw it all away. I guess at the end of the day, it's my fault again. It amazes me.

The beautiful day...
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