Yeah. The last day of 2007 was indeed very awesome!. Enjoyed myself very much with the company of some of the nicest people i know. Jesselyn's haircut is awesome! She loooks stunning! Couldnt take my eyes off her. As the new year begins somethings i have to do are lose weight , study , study more and study even more. Yet after all the celebrations here i am slugging my guts out doing binomial theorem at 4.20am in the morning. This sucks. I guess i still have to do it. Just trusting God and having faith. Hopefully God leads me through this. God bless everyone and have a happy new year everybody. Thank you God for all you have done and made possible for us. Praising you always.

The beautiful day...
12:18 PM

Looking from another point of view , realize how much i have been oblivious to. Just when you think you know someone , turns out you were wrong. You can never know what someone is really saying about you. You can never know their true opinion of you either. But then again , Its not all that bad. I guess feeeling distant and ignorant is what comes natural. However acknowledging the problems at hand are what really matters. If there is something wrong then i think its time for a change. Do not mistake me, i change not for the people , but for God. Cause if i am wrong then its time for my to make it right. People's opinions are the last thing on my mind right now. They're really great people , everyone in their own unique and loving way. Despite that , God is still number one. So i've got to make things right cause i know im wrong. Whether people's opinion change , well lets just say thats up to God. I know what i have to do. So im gonna do it. Its okay , im used to these kinda thing. I can handle it. Just hope God will guide me through the right decisions.

The beautiful day...
9:02 PM

Been a real interesting day for me. Diagnostic reports are out. Everything's good. Why am i blogging at 2.40 am in the morning? I feel a need to pen down my thoughts. Currently im not mad , angry , or pissed. Im disappointed. Disappointed at the people i regard as the nicest people i know. I recall something about us being a youth group. Then again , that just doesnt go as far as its suppose to right?? I've always felt that if u need to say something to me , about me , or some situation where u conveniently "buay tahan" me , you should say it to my face. Not behind my back. I seriusly thought i was changing , maturing , but obviusly they dont think so. And even then they didnt tell me , they chose to speak behind my back. They still think i havent changed , im still P**** , and that my atitude sucks. Okay i can live with that , i have many flaws, that i dont deny. When i asked for an example the only answer i received was an "i dunno" or a convenient " i forgot". The reasoning for their actions was a simple " We Bs you for your own good". Right. Im not hurt at the things you guys said , just at why you never told me. Did it ever occur to you that i was trying? and that by telling me you would be helping me? Now i know people's true opinion. They " buay tahan" me. Next time just tell me. Even now i wont say i blame them. I guess what i thought was change , wasnt what they thought as change , and that there is alot more for me to improve on and to change more and mature in Christ. I need to get back to work , get back to changing. I am sorry if i have been proud , arrogant or intolerable. My sincerest Apologies. From now onwards i wil do my very best in Christ to mature and change my bad habits. I bear no grudges. Despite the abundance of backstabbing , i realize it was my fault. Sorry , and thanks guys.

The beautiful day...
10:36 AM

Well yes. Life has been hectic. Im going to start vigorous studying soon. Same old same old. Either im dying or im not.Spending most of my time just rotting away and slacking. I guess i dont have much of a choice. Lost much of my strength. So the drama i tell you. Shes putting up at my place. Im quite shocked to have her around. In the same room. Then again i pity the situation shes in , i realize i am partially to blame for how things turned out. So not complaining, no matter how unethical it is i dont really care. She can stay here as long as she likes. Really sympathize. She went all out for me, now its my turn. Its going to be difficult adjusting , but not impossible.Next to that life's been just the same , miserable yet painful but somehow beautiful in its own aqquired way. Always appreciate life for everything in it. The irony. And at times where im down , i think of you , your always smiling face , and the dread disappears.Always. Keep smiling :):)

"Your lips say that you love , your eyes say that you dont."
-Ken =)=)

The beautiful day...
8:57 AM

I dont know whats worse , blood cancer, or anemic blood disorder. Its starting to wear down my body. Really starting to feel the effects. Life's been great you know. I get to sleep in , relax , chat.At the same time theres still so many things that burden me. What the heck, regardless of everything, its a beautiful day. I've got nothing bad to say about life. Life and everything in it is worth cherishing. Friends, Family, Loved ones. Loving, Respecting and Treasuring everyone seems to be of utmost importance to me. Dont know how long i can continue to do so.Been trying real hard to forget something. I guess Love is beautiful , at the same time it can hurt the most. The irony. Nice guys finish last. But hey, the smell of the flowers, colors of a rainbow and chirping of the birds are just enough to keep me content. Smiling alot recently. I guess thats a good thing. Still love you loads. Always will. Caught the golden compass with Wen sheng. Quite okay. As someone said to me earlier ,"a sun set doesnt mean the end of the day, it gives a chance for a sun rise, a new day.". Doubt she'll read this. But it helped alot , was really encouraging. Thanks babe (:

"I Bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away"
-Ken (=

The beautiful day...
7:37 AM

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple. The Irony of life is knowing that death comes at the end of the tunnel. Personally , for me , knowing that death comes far earlier then anyone else is not that simple to accept. The days are numbered. Life's not been easy having so many family members ill. Stressing is what life has been. The depression of a hating kin is far more unbearable then anything. I always blamed life for being unfair. Then i realize if i wanted fair,i chose the wrong species of life. Everyones made different. I might not be good at many things , but i got the longest "burden" fuse as far as i know. Struggling with the daily work, sometimes i feel like i do so much more then what would be expected from a normal 15 year old. If theres one thing i've realized, is that this world goes only as far as ur skin , appearance and looks. Probably a pinch of atitude but nothing else really matters. Not the good you've done or the character of your heart. Thats how materealistic and skin-conscious people have become. Its not like i expected things to turn out differently. With burdens knocking at the door, the things that keep me going are as simple as the people who stop to say "hi , hello, or RAHH". Wonder what i would do without them. Theres really no point sulking. Life might be miserable but making the best out of every situation is what life's about.To keep going with a smile knowing that im dying more everyday is my goal. I feel it, im getting weaker. But hey , at the end of the day life does not suck. Its a beautiful day , a beautiful sunrise , a beautiful sunset. Theres more to life then a girl , but theres nothing more to life then Love.To love everyone with the deepest of affection.Beautiful.Treasuring every minute of every moment has never seemed more important.Love , the only thing that matters. Cheers. Keep smiling. (:

"And the shadow of the day , will embrace the world in grey."
-Ken (:

The beautiful day...
9:56 AM